Putin meeting attendee still waiting for someone else to try refreshments
ST. PETERSBURG, Russia (The Egg) — A veterans meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin has now passed the three-hour mark Wednesday, and the provided refreshments remain untouched as the attendees are still waiting for someone else to try them first.
It is unclear at this point how much longer the meeting attendees can last without so much as a sip of water or a bite of pastry, but the situation appears to be worsening by the minute.
“Have you tried the berries yet? Surely the berries are alright,” said Dmitry to the man sitting on his left, who shook his head disapprovingly. “What about the tea cakes? I’m getting light-headed, I need something … anything.”
The man replied softly with a simple message: “I wouldn’t.”
The exchange caught the attention of Putin, who had just finished boasting about the two-month average life expectancy of a Russian soldier in Ukraine, and motioned for one of his guards to help Dmitry with his plate.
“Is there something wrong? You sound hoarse, have a sip of your tea and make sure to stir it well,” Putin said. “Or would you like to go up to the top floor balcony to get some air?”
The meeting continued uninterrupted after Dmitry took his plate of pastries and followed the guard up to the top floor. A few other attendees have slumped over in their chairs during this time, but Putin didn’t mind presiding over the casualties.
“I admit, because of sanctions, the refreshments are made of wax. But re-enlist in the army today and soon, about half of us will be eating real pastries again,” Putin said.
Thanks for reading The Wall Street Egg! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support our work.