Police called for wellness check on man still using NFT profile picture
MIAMI (The Egg) — A man was spotted on Twitter still using an NFT profile picture, prompting concerned citizens to call local authorities for a wellness check, and subsequently, taken to Jackson Memorial Hospital in Miami where he is currently undergoing treatment for his bad decisions.
Responding officers arrived on scene late Thursday night and found the man on the ground in a fetal position, repeatedly saying “It's alright, it’ll come back” to himself. Officers said he was fine, but deeply committed to his failed investments in NFTs, which are a sort of children’s digital trading card for people wanting to publicly declare ownership of such things.
According to the police report, the nearly 30-year-old man told officers that he had no choice but to continue supporting his collection after selling his car and bicycle to buy a total of 21 NFTs in the Dumb Sexy Rodents NFT collection last year.
“Just a few more months and it'll all bounce back. I may even scrounge up some money and get another. It’s a great time to buy,” the man reportedly told officers while still in a fetal position on the ground.
Officers feared the worst and began beating the man with their batons to see if he would come to his senses. Paramedics arrived shortly after and joined the officers in the beating.
“I hate seeing somebody so self-destructive, but I’m glad we tried our best to help him out,” the officers said in the report.