Kim Jong Un sheds tear as attention-seeking missile falls flaccidly into sea

SEOUL, South Korea (The Egg) — North Korean leader Kim Jong Un shed a tear as he oversaw the launch of the country’s newest tactical guided attention-seeking missile Saturday where it fell flaccidly into the sea off its eastern coast, stiffening tensions in the region.
According to images published by Korean Central News Agency, North Korea’s official state media, leader Kim Jong Un observed the test firing from a distance and reportedly teared up at the sight of how uncomfortable this floppy missile will make the West.
“The latest test of our newest attention-seeking missile succeeded in all possible ways,” the KCNA report said. “The haunting sound of our flop rocket propelling through the air will make our adversaries fall to their knees.”
South Korea’s military detected the launch early Saturday morning after hearing a loud, metallic, clapping noise, and possibly a slight moan, and quickly released a statement condemning the provocative nature of this weapon, stating that “it has no place in battle or even in theory.”
“At first, we thought somebody may have connected their phone to a speaker system on base, but after witnessing such derangement, we are not impressed,” South Korea’s Joint Chiefs of Staff said in a statement.
“Regardless of how fast it may flop, it will not evade our defenses,” the statement continued.
The United States and Japan have yet to respond publicly to this disturbing provocation, as there are more pressing issues to address in the world at the moment.
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