If your lawyer looks like this, you're probably going to prison
MOSCOW (The Egg) — WNBA star Brittney Griner pleaded guilty last week to drug possession charges in Russia, and her lawyer, who just arrived from Margaritaville to represent her, is probably responsible.
Alexander Boykov, one of Griner’s lawyers, spoke to reporters outside the courthouse wearing dark orange-tinted sunglasses, a colorful palm tree pattern button-down shirt with chest hair exposed, and slick-backed hair.
“Yea, she is a guilty person,” Boykov said. “All I can say is that the drugs didn’t come from me.”
Griner’s lawyers then went on to say that she must have been in a hurry and accidentally packed the cannabis oil in her luggage, raising eyebrows among many in the crowd.
“I don’t even know how I got this job to be honest,” he admitted to reporters. “In fact, I was walking home from the club early this morning and police asked me if I was lawyer. I said yes. They brought me here and I’m still wanting to know who this person is.”
In a country that has a 99% conviction rate in criminal cases, the job of a lawyer in Russia is confusing and not well understood. Perhaps this is why Boykov felt that he could show up to court in the same clothes he wore to a nightclub the night before.
The guilty plea comes as a surprise to some people, since Griner is facing up to 10 years in prison if convicted for the drug charges, but others say this is just a way to expedite the trial and begin preparations for a potential prisoner exchange.
Russian Deputy Foreign Minister Sergei Ryabkov weighed in on this possibility, saying that “It’s wonderful that Russia can get its citizens back by just charging foreigners with crimes and then arranging prisoner swaps.”
“Come visit Russia, the weather is nice and there’s plenty of space in our jails — I mean — hotels,” he said.